Many bloggers apologize for not posting when resurfacing back on their blog. It’s summer, life gets in the way of sharing vacations, new recipes, blah, blah, blah. I’m not apologizing.
Life is complicated.
Almost four months ago my life changed in the hopes of a happy future with my best friend.
Now for the past two months, I have been reevaluating my solo self into what the future may hold.
You always hear stories or watch movies about situations such as this, but never think about how you would feel if it actually happened to you. How do you handle it? How do you move on? How do you go from all the excitement in showing off a beautiful ring and planning a wedding to everything…just…. gone?
I’ve gotten a lot of advice from friends and family which I am truly grateful. It’s been a rough time, I’m not going to lie, but I have had great support from friends during this time which has kept me sane. You know who you are.
I have grieved from a rollercoaster six year relationship that ended in a broken engagement and yes, I still grieve. It deserves a time of respect. You have to let yourself be ok to have bad days and good days. Because trust me, you will have bad days. But you also have to move on, stay as busy as you can or you will enter into that dark cave that would be hard to climb out of which I refuse to do.
I’m not making this a tragic tale so instead, how can I make it helpful to others if they ever encounter rough times?
What do you do? Well, I’m a list maker. Grocery stores, work duties, everything. I make lists. I have post-it notes everywhere. So, instead of dwelling on what went wrong, my heartbroken time and my “woe is me, Scarlett” moments, I have some things that have helped me through so far and if you are going through a tough time in your life, relationships or not, here’s my list of things to help.
1. Take care of yourself- getting enough sleep, eating correctly (not missing meals even if you have no appetite), exercising, (yoga has especially helped me), drinking plenty of water and take vitamins (and yes, some prescriptions may help but see a doctor).
2. Let yourself grieve.-Part of me will always love this man and the years we spent together, for that, I am still grieving over my loss and I have to let myself be ok to do that. We had a huge life plan together as some may have known in my past blog posts. I love, cherish and respect all that we had.
3. Surround yourself with people that love you.
4. Surround yourself with people that are not afraid to tell you the truth and make you face your shit.
5. Pamper yourself as often as you can-Do something every day that supports your well-being. Whether it is getting a massage, laying by the pool (I now have a great tan, by the way), indulging in a great book or cheesy movie, and especially your favorite comfort food (mine has been sushi lately), this may sound trivial but it will make a big difference in how you feel as you nurture and care for No. 1.
6. Seek out and do what you love-As you know, I’m a huge supporter of my great city of Birmingham and I will continue my efforts in doing what I can in being involved, such as being in the Alabama Theatre Junior Board. Also, as a business owner and artist, work can be a healthy way to stay busy. Or try new things that you may not have done in the past.
7. Take time out-Thank you Jessica for letting me escape back to a city I love recently, NYC. The city kicked my ass, but I loved every moment of spending time with new friends, getting acquainted back with the city, and wonderful meals and heartfelt conversations with one of my best friends. I can’t wait to be back.
OR maybe you need just a staycastion to do the job.
8. Indulge in manicures and pedicures on a regular basis- I have learned that a great Mani /Pedi is essential. A very cheap way to make yourself feel good and get you out of the house for something other than watching Netflix movies, the 62nd episode of Battlestar Galactica and/or picking up Chinese food.
9. Stay optimistic.
10. Be happy just to be you, or find “who” you really are- Take time for yourself to explore and grow into the person that you should be. Also, be alright with being alone. (I am still working on this one…)
11. Know that there is something better on the other side.-You may not know who or what that is, but you have to have faith. During this time I was recently a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding. Part of it was hard to go through due to my recent events, but it gave me hope to see two people who love each other and were committed to spend the rest of their lives together. Thank you, Taylor and Spencer Wyatt for your love and support. I hope nothing but the best for you both.
12. …I’ll get back on the horse…
Thank you to all of those for your continued support, I love you all.